What’s going on Dirtaay? I hope you are experiencing a fantastic day or night. I wanted to share with you two experiences I experienced in two different days involving chairs. Yes, that’s right, chairs. Out of all things I could’ve experienced both times it had to be about chairs. I find it funny.
The place of work gives us the day off in honor of Juneteenth. Juneteenth commemorates the effective end of slavery in the United States, if you need more information then visit the History Channel’s explanation here What Is Juneteenth?. I wanted to do something special with the kids since I had the day off, so I surprised them with tickets to Epic Waters in Grand Prairie, Texas.
Epic Waters is the largest indoor waterpark in Texas. They have a wave pool, a boogie boarding area, food, video games, and a bevy of water slides. After some time of playing in the lazy river the kids got hungry. We had to find a table before buying the food because they bring your order to the table you’re sitting at. We’re down for convenience. My wife finds 3 empty tables within 2 feet of each other. We pick an empty table and sit down. No one was around. You could see towels and bags sitting on other chairs which we left alone. We didn’t move anyone’s belongings when we sat down. My wife went to stand in line to order the food and the kids jumped into a nearby pool. About 8 minutes pass and a tall gentleman walks around me and sits down in a chair adjacent to our table.
I’m sitting there minding my business when I hear someone say “Aye, man I don’t know what you’re going to do but the table you’re sitting in belongs to us”. I was waiting for a shiv to stab me in the back as if I sat in someone’s chair while locked up in San Quinten State Prison. You’ve seen this scene in movies, right? As I turn to see who was talking, I notice it was the gentleman that walked by me. I looked at him and replied, “Sorry but no one was sitting here when we sat down”. Now let me remind you that we’re talking about community tables and chairs. Epic Waters has the option for you to purchase a cabana, which is a convenient way of reserving tables and chairs. We were not in a cabana. He proceeds to say that he doesn’t know what’s going to happen when his people come back to find us sitting in their chairs. I look around to see multiple empty tables and chairs sitting to his left and his right. I said, “Why can’t they sit in the empty chairs next to you?” he replies that he’s just letting me know so I don’t act surprised when they show up. We went back and forth for a bit, and he finally says, “Well I don’t give a fuck about you so whatever”. That was it for me, so I replied, “Well I don’t give a fuck either so let me know what you want to do right now”. I’m a very chill and patient person who can only take so much especially when there is plenty to go around. If he wanted ownership over space, then rent a cabana. No need to get extra with community chairs. We didn’t say anything else to each other.
The food showed up and we ate peacefully. We finished our meal, picked up our trash, and went on some more rides. I did notice that a family quickly sat down at the same table we ate at soon as we left. What is it people say about karma?
Look, I’m an understanding person. If I was truly in the wrong, then I would’ve apologized for the inconvenience first then on to a different table. No problem. I was merely standing my ground because we’re talking about community chairs, I feel an Allen Iverson reference coming on. There’s a way to handle these types of situations and his approach was wrong. This brings me to experience number two involving chairs.
Today I opted to go to a movie. I chose to watch The Hitman’s Bodyguard 2. We’re talking an all-star cast that includes Ryan Reynolds, Samuel L. Jackson, and Selma Hayek. Other notable names to mention are Frank Grillo and Antonio Banderas. Take my money anytime you can combine Reynold’s sarcasm with Jackson’s vulgarness and Selma Hayek’s sass in a movie. I thought the word sass was a shortened version of sexy ass, turns out I’ve been wrong all these years. I do like Dirtaay Sass for a shirt, wait how about Dirtaay & Sassy? Ohh I love that! What do you think? Back to my story.
Turns out I bought tickets from the wrong theater on the mobile app I use to purchase tickets. The front clerk was gracious enough to assign me a seat instead of making me purchase a new ticket. He was very kind to go out of his way. Alright! Crisis averted. I purchase a large popcorn with a large Coke Zero, head to my seat, and chill. Right around the time, the trailers were ending a couple walks up and the gentleman points to my seat and the seat next to me. I’m thinking here we go again. Yesterday’s scenario immediately replays in my head. I calmly ask, “Am I sitting in your seat?” The gentleman replies “Yes, but it’s ok, we’ll sit over there” as he’s pointing to two seats further down the row. “I’m sorry the clerk downstairs assigned this seat to me,” I said. “No worries, we’ll sit over here” he replied. The movie starts, I watch, I laugh, I cry, and I finish my popcorn. When the movie ends, I walk over and thank them for understanding. They were polite and say they understood, no harm done. The crisis averted once again.
The moral of this story is that there are numerous ways to handle every scenario. The best method is to look at the scenario rationally. Just because a stranger sat in “your” seat that doesn’t mean you should respond aggressively or be discourteous. Something can always be worked out. The first gentleman could clearly see there were multiple empty chairs within his reach. He just felt like the seats we were sitting in were his, which they weren’t. The second gentleman realized there’s no need to huff and puff when the theater is empty. He’s obviously a Dirtaay thinker. He must be because we conversated all the way to the restroom and shared a urinal. Ah, good times.
That’s all for today. Thank you for supporting. Remember to act Dirtaay, think Dirtaay, and talk Dirtaay! All will be ok if you do.